I love receiving gifts (and I know you do too)! But I also love giving them, especially when I am offering funny, weird or unexpected ones. Those short moments when you’re able to observe the other person’s attitude changing from pleasantly surprised, to a “no, you didn’t!” and then to a “yes, you did!” one and, finally, to a desperate try to look pleased and happy with the gift they received, are simply precious! And then, there are also people who’ll appreciate your humor and weirdness, but we’re not counting those as “normal” just as we’re not counting us as “normal” either.
So, our today’s list, is not made up of the same old boring gifts we could safely offer to grandma, or to our boss, unless you’re really brave and if you are, we’re eagerly expecting pictures to prove your courage.
Here we go:
1) Engagement Gifts
What a glorious moment in a woman’s life engagement is! Especially if she’s not so good looking and she’s the last in her promotion to find her half, nervously hoping that someone will eventually like her for her inner-self she carefully covered under a meatball while taking prolonged trips to the nearest fast-food to forget about her loneliness. This is why, you should not leave such a moment unmarked and offer her this glorious card, preferably through the mail or using a very long stick to put a safe distance between you and her wild joy when she’ll open the envelope.
Feeling generous? This card also has matching T-shirts and other lovely gifts available should you decide to make her a more substantial gift.
2) Family Gifts
Is there a certain family member you’d like to visit you less often? A crazy aunt or your mother in-law maybe? Do you come from a weird family and often wonder how come you ended up with such a Kafkian novel you have for a life? Then you can show your appreciation for them with a photo plaque they can display in the dinner room and have wonderful conversations about it on Christmas dinners (and all the other occasions when all the hell breaks loose). Again, the postal service comes in handy for this, since you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of their delighted exclamations when they discover what their beloved relative found appropriate to send them.
If you’d like to send them something bigger and more visible, there are also posters available and even a dartboard (that one you could keep for yourself), so you’re not limited in choices when it comes to expressing your feelings towards them.
3) For Your Dog
I have a dog who does all sorts of crazy things (as all dogs do). Just today she came home smelling as if she has been rotting for days, after rolling into some dead squirrel she found outside. Oh, what a “why, oh, why!” moment it was! The smell was so dreadful, almost blinding and I know at that moment all I wanted was revenge! I don’t dress up my dog, but if I did, I would have made her wear a shameful T-shirt to let the whole world know what despicable deeds she is capable of. Something similar to the one below (yes, unfortunately that happens too with some dogs and then they come to love us and lick us and …ewwww).
Do you see the innocent, happy, idiotic face on that dog? Yup, that’s pretty much how things are with many dogs who won’t understand a thing from your laments until you shame them and shame them good!