In the future it appears that Shia LaBeouf will not be remembered for being the star of the incredibly successful Transformer movies ( he earned 15 million dollars for Transformers: Dark of the Moon ) or even for his recent wild period of drinking and arrests. Instead he will remembered for being an insane cannibal who chased people in the woods.
Origins of the cannibal theme
According to an interview with the Washington Post Rob Cantor decided to write a song in 2011 about Shia LeBeouf “living in the woods, killing for sport and eating all the bodies ”.
He says he’s not a LaBeouf superfan. His main reason for deciding that he should be musically described as brandishing a knife and living in the shadows? “It was more that his name, when whispered really intensely, just made me giggle.”
This kicked off a meme and in early 2012 someone edited the Wikipedia page for cannibal. The great thing about Wikipedia is that you can view all the revisions and if you click here you can see versions of the Cannibal page which include references to “Eating all the bodies Shia LeBeouf” and “actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf”
Shia LaBeouf ? I thought it was pronounced more like “sheer” and shouldn’t that be LaBoeuf ? I needed to look this up on IMDB to find out:
In French, LaBeouf means “beef”, but mine is spelled wrong. It should be “LaBoeuf”. My grandmother was a beatnik lesbian in the ’50s, who hated her family and decided to change the spelling, and it’s been that way ever since. So you go to France and people are like, “LaBeouf? You have an illiterate last name.” By the way, Shia is a bad four-letter word in French. So the literal translation of my name is “S*** the Beef”. Kind of rock-starry, isn’t it?
The Music Video “Shia LaBeouf” – Live
Here’s the totally weird music video of a “live” stage performance of the song featuring The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles, children’s choir, string quartet, and interpretive dancers; some of whom adorn a giant Shia LaBeouf head. The video ends with a single audience member clapping alone in the dark auditorium. As the camera pans, we see it is Shia himself dressed in a tuxedo.
Full Lyrics of “Shia LaBeouf” Live by Rob Cantor
You’re walking in the woods
There’s no one around and your phone is dead
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him
He’s following you about thirty feet back
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
He’s gaining on you
You’re looking for your car but you’re all turned around
He’s almost upon you now, and you can see…
There’s blood on his face
My God, there’s blood everywhere!
Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf
He’s brandishing a knife, it’s Shia LaBeouf
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf
Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf)
Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf)
Eating all the bodies
Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf
Now it’s dark, and you seem to have lost him
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself
Stranded with a murderer
You creep silently through the underbrush
In the distance, a small cottage with a light on — hope!
You move stealthily toward it…
But your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap!
Gnawing off your leg (quiet, quiet)
Limping to the cottage (quiet, quiet)
Now you’re on the doorstep
Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf
Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf)
But he doesn’t hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf)
You’re sneaking up behind him
Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf
Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf
Stab it in his kidney
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf
You limp into the dark woods
Blood oozing from your stump leg
You’ve beaten Shia LaBeouf
Wait! He isn’t dead! (Shia surprise)
There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes
But you can do Jiu Jitsu
Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf
Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg
He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
You’re chopping off his head now
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf
His head topples to the floor, expressionless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath
You’re finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
If you’re after more bizarre music videos check out our article on 11 weird music videos you won’t be able to forget.